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The Great Wyoming Buyout

Jefferson Thorne, the world's first trillionaire, leaned back in his diamond-encrusted ergonomic chair and sipped his artisanal moonwater. He had done everything: space tourism, longevity research, a brief but disastrous attempt to cross breed hippos with butterflies. Now, he craved a legacy project. Something truly absurd. Something historic. "I want to buy Wyoming," he said one day, scrolling through a list of world landmarks that he already owned. His financial advisor, Penelope Strand, blinked. "Like... a ranch in Wyoming?" "No. The whole state." Strand cleared her throat. "Uh, I don't think you can do that." Thorne swiveled his chair dramatically. "Penelope, do you recall Citizens United v. FEC?" "Well, yes, but—" "The Supreme Court ruled that money is speech. And I have a lot of speech." It took weeks to organize, but soon, Thorne made his bid: $500 billion for Wyoming, an offer so staggering that ever...

Josephine's Unusual Birthday Present

Josephine's father was a successful businessman who spent most of his life growing his businesses. At the age of 55, he owned several businesses, including a baseball stadium. Last year, though, he had a health scare. He needed surgery for a serious health condition. Luckily, the operation was successful, but he emerged from the surgery a different person. He was now ready to live his life differently. So, when his daughter Josephine's 12-birthday was coming up, he asked her, "Sweetie, what would you like for your birthday this year? Think of whatever you want." Josephine replied, "Whatever I want? Really?" "Yes, sweetie. Tell me what you'd like for your birthday." Josephine replied, "Let me think this over. I'll tell you what I'd like tomorrow." At dinner the following evening, Josephine sat up straight in her chair and said, "Dad, I've thought about what I'd like for my birthday." Her dad said, "And wh...

Dear Dairy

Moosetta was no ordinary teenage cow. For one, she had a penchant for introspection that set her apart from the herd. While her bovine peers spent their days ruminating on grass and gossiping about Farmer Ted's questionable overalls, Moosetta dreamed of expressing herself. So, one day, she picked up a pen (a challenge without opposable thumbs, but determination prevailed) and started her journal, Dear Dairy . Day 1 Dear Dairy, Today, Betsy said I chew my cud like I'm in a Shakespearean tragedy. That's udderly unfair. If contemplating existence while chewing is a crime, then lock me up. Also, I caught Farmer Ted sneaking cookies behind the barn. He dropped one. It was chocolate chip. A win for me, a loss for his waistline. Day 3 Dear Dairy, I've decided that I want to write poetry. Here's my first attempt: The pasture green, the sun does gleam, My moo unheard, a bovine dream. It needs work, but the chickens seemed impressed. Except for Cluck Norris—he's always s...

During the Tudor Period in England

During the Tudor Period in England, there were many students who required individualized Tudoring. When they received the attention they needed, they would often flourish in the food courts of their day, dishing up delectable Jamaican, Japanese, and Salvadoran cuisine on styrofoam plates. Would you like chips with that? Eventually, many of these Tudored individuals rose to prominence in their fields. There was Sir Nigel Butterdish, inventor of the collapsible collander, and Lady Beatrice of the Breadsticks, who revolutionized etiquette with her pioneering "no jousting at dinner" rule. Truly, the age of Tudoring left an indelible mark on history—and on the napkins of the era, which bore the first recorded doodles of knights fighting over custard pies. It was clear: Tudoring wasn't just about education; it was about preparing young minds to dine, think, and occasionally duel their way into the annals of history. -- -- Phil Shapiro, pshapiro@his.com https://opensource.com/us...

Marjorie's Journey to Grow as a Manager

Marjorie Winters prided herself on efficiency. As the manager of a bustling marketing agency, she believed that her job was to ensure deadlines were met, budgets adhered to, and clients left impressed. Her desk was a shrine to productivity: color-coded folders, neatly stacked reports, and a mug declaring "World's Best Boss" (a self-purchase she never admitted). Yet lately, there had been murmurs. A whispered complaint here, an eye-roll there. Projects were on time, but the energy in the office felt... off. Determined to prove herself the leader she knew she could be, Marjorie implemented a new feedback initiative: the Mirror Report . Employees could anonymously submit feedback under two categories: "Reflections" (things Marjorie was doing well) and "Smudges" (areas needing improvement). The first batch of reports was sobering. Reflections: "Marjorie is great at keeping the team organized." "She's decisive and clear about expectatio...

Revised Corporate Mottoes for 2025

Google: "Do no evil -- on Fridays, between 4:30 pm and 5 pm." "All your thoughts are belong to us." "One search to rule them all, and in the darkness bind them." "Google product graveyard tours start on the hour, every hour, between 8 am and 10 pm, PST. Follow the happy guides with the multicolored open umbrellas." Microsoft : "That's a nice little company you've built there. It would be a shame if something happened to it." "Your dependence is our innovation." "We'll stop supporting you when the world stops supporting us." "Please do not turn off your mind until the upgrade is completed." Apple: "For your convenience, you can now direct deposit your paycheck to the Apple Store." "Selling you back the illusion of freedom, one device at a time." "Would you like a device with your adapter? We also sell adapter for our adapters. Tesla: "As an add-on to your car pur...

Fritz the Feline Philosopher

Fritz was no ordinary alley cat. His sleek black fur gave him a regal air, but his most prized possession was his mind—a curious and ever-questioning one. While other cats were content to lounge in the sun or stalk the occasional mouse, Fritz roamed the neighborhood with a singular mission: to liberate his fellow felines from the tyranny of dogma. One sunny morning, Fritz found Marmalade, a chubby orange tabby, staring intently at a wall. "What's the fascination, Marmalade?" Fritz asked, tilting his head. "There's a shadow," Marmalade replied, tail flicking. "I'm certain it's the ghost of Whiskerclaw, the Great Mouser." Fritz sighed. "Marmalade, my dear friend, dogma will only leave you barking up the wrong tree. Why don't you step back and examine the evidence? That shadow's probably just a bush swaying in the wind." Marmalade blinked. "But... what if it is Whiskerclaw?" "And what if it's just a squirr...