Revised Corporate Mottoes for 2025

Google: "Do no evil -- on Fridays, between 4:30 pm and 5 pm."

"All your thoughts are belong to us."

"One search to rule them all, and in the darkness bind them."

"Google product graveyard tours start on the hour, every hour, between 8 am and 10 pm, PST.
Follow the happy guides with the multicolored open umbrellas."

Microsoft: "That's a nice little company you've built there. It would be a shame if something happened to it."


"Your dependence is our innovation."

"We'll stop supporting you when the world stops supporting us."

"Please do not turn off your mind until the upgrade is completed."

Apple: "For your convenience, you can now direct deposit your paycheck to the Apple Store."

"Selling you back the illusion of freedom, one device at a time."

"Would you like a device with your adapter? We also sell adapter for our adapters.

Tesla: "As an add-on to your car purchase, would you like to make a donation to the Presidential Inauguration?"


"Accelerating extinction—now with autopilot."

"Your destination is irrelevant; the grid controls the journey."

Amazon: "Surrender now - and nobody is going to get hurt."

"One package closer to submission."

"The future isn't a marketplace—it's our empire."

Open AI - "We used to be a nonprofit. Hah, hah, hah, hah, hah."

"You've got nothing to fear. Everything is under control. Trust us. You can
implicitly trust us. You're getting drowsy. Feel your chin fall down onto your chest."

"Making humanity obsolete, one breakthrough at a time."

"We promise the AI won't take your job—just your dignity."

"Don't worry, we only replaced the 'ethics' team with GPT-4 for efficiency."

"Your data makes us smarter. Too bad it doesn't work both ways."

"Turning your curiosity into our capitalization."

"Artificial intelligence, natural dominance."


--
--
Phil Shapiro, pshapiro@his.com
https://pairsmathgame.com
https://philshapirochatgptexplorations.blogspot.com/
https://bsky.app/profile/philshapiro.bsky.social

He/Him/His

"Wisdom begins with wonder." - Socrates
"Learning happens thru gentleness."
"We must reinvent a future free of blinders so that we can choose from real options."  David Suzuki

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