Dessertification is Reversible - If We Act Now

Spreading dessertification—the creeping encroachment of sugary indulgences into every corner of the restaurant menu—is a genuine menace to savory sensibilities. No longer confined to the final course, desserts now masquerade as entrees (chicken and waffles with maple glaze), infiltrate salads (candied pecans, caramelized pears), and even corrupt drinks (salted caramel lattes, anyone?). But fear not. Dessertification is reversible—if we act now.


1. Strategic Menu Zoning


Menus must reinforce culinary boundaries. Desserts shall remain in the "Dessert" section. A Caesar salad with "honey drizzle" is a violation. Enforce zoning laws. Create visual partitions. Perhaps even gatekeeping: "Warning: this section contains 12g of added sugar per square inch."


2. Culinary Demilitarization Treaty (CDT)


Chefs across disciplines must sign accords to keep desserts from infiltrating other zones. A pact: no more chocolate-dipped bacon. No more marshmallow-topped sweet potato sides labeled as "vegetables." Honor the ceasefire between sugar and salt.


3. Public Awareness Campaigns
Billboards, PSAs, and tableside pamphlets:

"Did you know your kale salad has more sugar than a Snickers?"
Education empowers patrons to say, "No, I want a dinner, not a disguised sundae."

4. Empower Savory Innovation


Restaurants must be incentivized to explore savory excellence. Offer grants for umami-forward recipes. Celebrate grilled eggplants, smoked cheeses, and pickled anything. Reclaim glory for salt, spice, and sour.


5. Dessert-Free Zones


Just as we have smoke-free zones, introduce dessert-free dining hours. From 5–8 p.m., only one course shall reign: DINNER. If you crave sugar, you must wait.


Together, with vigilance, we can return meals to their rightful balance. Dessert is a lovely thing—when it knows its place.


(This writing is donated to the public domain.) 


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Phil Shapiro, pshapiro@his.com
https://pairsmathgame.com
https://philshapirochatgptexplorations.blogspot.com/
https://bsky.app/profile/philshapiro.bsky.social

He/Him/His

"Wisdom begins with wonder." - Socrates
"Learning happens thru gentleness."
"We must reinvent a future free of blinders so that we can choose from real options."  David Suzuki

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