Working at the Public Library is an Extreme Sport


Working at a public library may seem serene—rows of books, whispered conversations, the soft click of a keyboard—but don't be fooled. This is no place for the faint of heart. It's basically the X Games in cardigans.


Consider the adrenaline rush of refiling books during toddler storytime. You've got 26 kids under four hyped up on Goldfish crackers and "The Wheels on the Bus," stampeding past the reference section like caffeinated wildebeest. One wrong move and you're knocked into the biography shelves by a rogue stroller.


Or the circulation desk showdown: a line of impatient patrons, each one convinced they returned The Grapes of Wrath three months ago, even though you're holding it in your hands, complete with fresh marinara stains and a receipt from Olive Garden tucked inside. Negotiating overdue fines requires the poise of a diplomat and the reflexes of a ninja.


But the most dangerous task—the true Everest of public service—is the printer.


"When working at the library, at any moment the printer can run out of paper. When that happens, you have no choice but to deal with that moment. You have to be fully present as you reload the paper tray, knowing that at any moment you can get a paper cut."


It's not just a paper cut. It's a paper katana wound. You bleed, you question your life choices, you silently curse the PDF that started it all. And just when you think it's safe, someone tries to fax something from 1997.


There's also the psychological warfare of shelving in the 600s, where books on "how to milk your own goat" live next to guides for DIY open-heart surgery. One moment you're gently nestling Chicken Coops for Dummies into its proper place, the next you're fending off a rogue pamphlet on amateur dentistry.


All this, and yet you do it with a smile. Because you're not just a librarian. You're an extreme librarian—battling chaos, promoting literacy, and defending the Dewey Decimal System like it's a sacred text.


Helmet optional. Sensible shoes required.



(This writing is donated to the public domain.)



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Phil Shapiro, pshapiro@his.com
https://pairsmathgame.com
https://philshapirochatgptexplorations.blogspot.com/
https://bsky.app/profile/philshapiro.bsky.social

He/Him/His

"Wisdom begins with wonder." - Socrates
"Learning happens thru gentleness."
"We must reinvent a future free of blinders so that we can choose from real options."  David Suzuki

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