The Yolk of Oppression


It began with a single omelet.


Or rather, the absence of one.


For decades, the people of the Republic of Egglandia had endured countless hardships—taxes on toast, tariffs on butter, and a draconian law requiring all bacon to be distributed exclusively to the ruling elite. But it was the price of eggs that finally cracked the shell of their patience.


At first, the government tried to dismiss concerns. "The free market is merely scrambling itself into a more efficient system!" declared Supreme Chancellor Benedict. "A dozen eggs for fifty gold pieces is a bargain when you consider the rich nutritional value."


But the people were not fooled. A black market for eggs emerged overnight. Citizens smuggled yolks in hollowed-out loaves of bread. Grandmothers whispered secret barter rates in dimly lit bakeries. An underground resistance, calling themselves The Over-Easies, began organizing.


It was Clara Beakman, a humble egg farmer, who ignited the final spark. When government officials arrived at her farm to seize her last remaining hens "for the greater good," she stood atop a hay bale and declared, "If we let them take our eggs today, tomorrow they'll take our bread! And the day after that, our pancakes! Will we stand idly by as our breakfasts are poached?"


The crowd erupted. The revolution had begun.


Armed with rolling pins and cast-iron skillets, the people stormed the capital. Government forces fought back with industrial-strength whisks, but they were no match for the sheer force of the hungry masses. A well-aimed egg to the face of Chancellor Benedict sealed his fate. The people hoisted Clara onto their shoulders, chanting, "No more yolking around."


With the regime overthrown, a new constitution was written: Eggs shall be affordable to all, omelets a fundamental right, and brunches shall last as long as the people desire.

And thus, the Great Eggvolution ushered in an era of peace, prosperity, and perfectly cooked breakfasts.


--
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Phil Shapiro, pshapiro@his.com
https://pairsmathgame.com
https://philshapirochatgptexplorations.blogspot.com/
https://bsky.app/profile/philshapiro.bsky.social

He/Him/His

"Wisdom begins with wonder." - Socrates
"Learning happens thru gentleness."
"We must reinvent a future free of blinders so that we can choose from real options."  David Suzuki

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