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Showing posts from January, 2025

Dear Dairy

Moosetta was no ordinary teenage cow. For one, she had a penchant for introspection that set her apart from the herd. While her bovine peers spent their days ruminating on grass and gossiping about Farmer Ted's questionable overalls, Moosetta dreamed of expressing herself. So, one day, she picked up a pen (a challenge without opposable thumbs, but determination prevailed) and started her journal, Dear Dairy . Day 1 Dear Dairy, Today, Betsy said I chew my cud like I'm in a Shakespearean tragedy. That's udderly unfair. If contemplating existence while chewing is a crime, then lock me up. Also, I caught Farmer Ted sneaking cookies behind the barn. He dropped one. It was chocolate chip. A win for me, a loss for his waistline. Day 3 Dear Dairy, I've decided that I want to write poetry. Here's my first attempt: The pasture green, the sun does gleam, My moo unheard, a bovine dream. It needs work, but the chickens seemed impressed. Except for Cluck Norris—he's always s...

During the Tudor Period in England

During the Tudor Period in England, there were many students who required individualized Tudoring. When they received the attention they needed, they would often flourish in the food courts of their day, dishing up delectable Jamaican, Japanese, and Salvadoran cuisine on styrofoam plates. Would you like chips with that? Eventually, many of these Tudored individuals rose to prominence in their fields. There was Sir Nigel Butterdish, inventor of the collapsible collander, and Lady Beatrice of the Breadsticks, who revolutionized etiquette with her pioneering "no jousting at dinner" rule. Truly, the age of Tudoring left an indelible mark on history—and on the napkins of the era, which bore the first recorded doodles of knights fighting over custard pies. It was clear: Tudoring wasn't just about education; it was about preparing young minds to dine, think, and occasionally duel their way into the annals of history. -- -- Phil Shapiro, pshapiro@his.com https://opensource.com/us...