Why Halley's Comet Should Dictate Your Car Wash Schedule



In today's fast-paced world, we all know how important it is to stay on top of the little things—like keeping your car clean. But let's face it, life gets busy. With work, family, and the endless cycle of Netflix releases, who has time to think about a regular car wash? Fear not. The solution to your automotive cleanliness woes is simpler than you might think. Instead of stressing over weekly or monthly washes, why not align your car wash schedule with a far more majestic celestial event: the appearance of Halley's Comet.

Forget the frantic pace of modern life; Halley's Comet comes around only once every 75 to 76 years. That's right, folks—no more stressing over whether you washed your car last week or last month. Simply look to the night sky for your cue. If Halley's Comet is making its glorious journey across the heavens, it's time to get your car over to a car wash. It's not procrastination -- it's cosmic timing. Consider the timeless appeal of this schedule. Halley's Comet has been recorded by astronomers since 240 BC. It's a tradition steeped in history. Just think, the last time Halley's Comet was visible from Earth was in 1986. That means if you washed your car then, you're not due for another wash until 2061. Talk about low maintenance!

Environmental Impact? Minimal

Are you concerned about water conservation? You're not alone. By timing your car washes with the appearance of Halley's Comet, you're doing your part to save the planet. Water usage will be so infrequent that you'll barely make a dent in the local reservoir. Naturally, your car may be surprised -- having never experienced a car wash before. But, we all need to be open to new experiences at all times. Some might argue that a car left unwashed for decades could become a bit… unsightly. But isn't that just another way of saying "vintage"? Think of the character your car will develop over the years. Each layer of dirt will tell a story, a testament to the passing of time and the fleeting nature of human concerns. When Halley's Comet finally returns, the transformation will be nothing short of miraculous.

Let's be honest: How often do you get to participate in a truly once-in-a-lifetime event? Sure, there are birthdays and anniversaries, but Halley's Comet is in a league of its own. By tying your car wash to this rare celestial phenomenon, you're ensuring that each cleaning is a monumental occasion. Invite friends. Make it a party. After all, the next time it rolls around, it's likely you'll be sharing the story with the grandkids. So, let's stop worrying about arbitrary schedules and embrace the grandeur of the cosmos. Wash your car when you see Halley's Comet in the night sky, and rest easy knowing that you're on the most exclusive car wash schedule in the universe. After all, what's a few layers of grime compared to the vastness of space and time?

(This writing is the public domain and may be freely redistributed in any form.)


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Phil Shapiro, pshapiro@his.com

He/Him/His

"Wisdom begins with wonder." - Socrates
"Learning happens thru gentleness."
"We must reinvent a future free of blinders so that we can choose from real options."  David Suzuki

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