The Importance of Reducing Texas


For years, politicians have been hollering about the urgent need to "reduce taxes." But maybe, just maybe, we've been mishearing them. What they should be saying is: reduce Texas.


Look, Texas is huge. It's so big that when you cross the state line, your watch needs a snack break. If you start driving from El Paso to Beaumont, you'll need three different playlists, four burritos, and possibly a second birthday. It's a state so vast that when someone says, "I'm from West Texas," you still have to ask, "Which time zone?"


Reducing Texas would solve all sorts of problems:

  • Climate change: Smaller Texas means fewer square miles of 110°F weather to heat the planet.

  • Travel convenience: Shrink it down, and road trips won't require overnight stays, seven tanks of gas, and a notarized will.

  • Geopolitical safety: Right now, Texas is big enough to have its own foreign policy. Reduce it, and suddenly it's less of a threat to… Oklahoma.

How do we "reduce" it? Simple:

  • Portion control: Cut Texas into Texas Lite™, Texas Jr., and Fun-Size Texas.

  • Geographical decluttering: Donate spare counties to states that feel small and insecure, like Rhode Island.

  • Compression technology: Fold it neatly in half twice, then tuck it behind New Mexico.

In the end, reducing Texas isn't about punishing Texans — it's about creating a world where we can drive across an entire state without requiring an oil change halfway through.


So the next time you hear a politician say, "I'm fighting to reduce taxes," hand them a map, a pair of scissors, and a firm handshake. Let's work together to make Texas a manageable size… before someone accidentally tries to pave all of it.




--
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Phil Shapiro, pshapiro@his.com
https://pairsmathgame.com
https://philshapirochatgptexplorations.blogspot.com/
https://bsky.app/profile/philshapiro.bsky.social

He/Him/His

"Wisdom begins with wonder." - Socrates
"Learning happens thru gentleness."
"We must reinvent a future free of blinders so that we can choose from real options."  David Suzuki

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